


GilCentric

by Hinata28h



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Humor, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-28 06:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11412675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinata28h/pseuds/Hinata28h
Summary: Where Gilbert proves that everything revolves around him.





	GilCentric

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
> 
> Also posted on FF and Tumblr; It's crackish, and by crackish I mean stupid.

_Location: Berlin, Germany  
_ _Time: 10:01  
_ _Objective: World Conference_

_'Vhy must these buffoons act so…unprofessional?'_ Germany thought as he stared off into the room where once again the others could not stay on subject. As usual, it was utter chaos from not only lack of control, but lack of obedience as well. Germany glanced at the European nations and their constant bickering.

France had been groping England throughout the meeting, in which the Englishmen reacted by yelling, smacking and or punching the Frenchmen. Russia had been intimating the Baltic States with his sinister aura. (Germany couldn't help but feel pity for them; Latvia looked as his he was going to cry bloody murder.) Poland was demanding that Russia ceased from hurting Lithuania, or he would counteract the matter by a war. (It was then Lithuania began to have a panic attack from Poland's less-than-great plans against Russia.) Finland was looking quite distraught from the staring, or rather glaring, contest between Sweden and Denmark, the rest of the Nordics (sans Norway) were placing bets of who'd break first. Romano was bickering at Spain, who in returned cooed Romano for his cuteness, which resulted with a punch to the face.

Germany shook his head and glanced over to the Asian nations.

China was trying to create "original" ideas, Thailand and North Korea listening to him intently, while Japan shook his head in disapproval. He was trying to explain to China that one should not go and try to manufacture other copyrighted objects as his own, however was disrupted as South Korea, once again, tried to claim China's "breast". That then led to Thailand and North Korea to pry South Korea from China, but from mixed confusion, both Koreas found themselves wacked with China's wok.

All while this happened, America was as his usual self and off topic as he can be. (However, Germany shook his head in annoyance. It seemed all this nonsense was making him see double because right behind America seemed to be a ghostly image… of America…)

However, instead doing something, Germany just kept his place in this line of disorderly conduct.  _'There's no reason for me to do something if this is going to repeat anyvays.'_  He thought as he continued writing his notes about future topics that would, most likely, never be discussed.

Yet meanwhile, Italy looked at his blonde-haired friend,  _'Ve~I wonder if there's anything I could do for Germany! Hmm. Oh I know~! I'll make him some pasta! Pasta always helps!'_ As Italy was about to confront the German nation, the conference doors burst open.

"VEST! VEST I HAVE THE MOST AWESOME NEWS EVA ABOUT THE AWESOME  _PRUSSIA_!" the stranger, otherwise, the  _awesome Prussian_  exclaimed to his brother in particular.

Germany shook in frustration before yelling at the ex-nation. Honestly, of all the times, Prussia just always had to break into the meeting that he was not supposed to be attending. (However, that didn't even matter since nothing serious or confidential ever happened at these "organized" meetings.)

" _Bruder_ _!_ VHAT THE HELL DO YOU VANT? VHY NOW!" Germany hissed under his breath. Just once would he like for something to go according to schedule.

Prussia pouted and crossed his arms, "Vell, all I vanted to say ish that the vorld revolves around the Awesome me. And I have proof that it does." Prussia smiled smugly with his newfound discovery.

Germany scowled in disbelief, "Prussia, enough vith this nonsense and GO HOME!"

Prussia lifted a finger at Germany, however before he could retort, Russia spoke.

"Actually, I'd like to know what comrade Пруссия¹ has to say."

"Dui², I want to as well."

"Yeah! The Hero wants to know!"

"Hai, I agree with America."

"Dammit Japan, man up or I'll beat you with my peace prize!"

"FINE! How exactly does the vorld revolve around you  _bruder_?" Germany asked irritably. This was going nowhere. No one was going anywhere with this pace that the nation were going at.

"Every country in this room is chained to me, like that Red string of fate crap, mumbo-jumbo. Meaning, any country you can possibly think of is connected to the Awesome Prussia one vay or another."

"Idiot, that's the same with us as well." England scoffed.

Ignoring England's statement, China asked, "So, what if I said Turkey?"

Prussia smiled, "Easy, Turkey knows Greece, who knows Japan, who knows mien bruder Germany, who knows ME!"

"Okay. Mexico"

"She's America's schwester³, and I know America vhen I trained him in combat."

"Nigeria."

"Nigeria is close with Niger, who knows Libya, who knows Egypt, who knows Russia, who knows me."

"Norway."

"Norway knows Denmark, who knows Sweden, who knows Sealand, who know England, who knows France, who knows ME!"

**Many, many, _many_  Nation names later**

"Kesesese, see vhat I mean! The vorld does revolve around me! Thus, the globe should be rearranged so that all of you revolve around me! The AWESOME PRUSSIA!"

"WHAT!" America yelled, "What about Canada?"

"Who?" The Prussian asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. However, Prussia jumped back when he swore that America had a strange ghost-like after image behind him, frowning softly. Creepy. America should really check up on that, it didn't seem… Normal.

**Author's Note:**

> ¹ Пруссия - Russian for "Prussia"  
> ² Dui - Chinese for "Yes"  
> ³ schwester - German for "sister"
> 
> Yeah, I was bored one day and thought of making this (with the help of my twin of course), sorry if it sucks though, or not cracky enough. Just a stupid idea I wanted to write.


End file.
